Announcing my bid for the US presidency

I hereby declare my entry into the 2024 US presidential contest. It is time for a change, America. Promise me your vote, and I will promise you a more perfect union. In posts to come, I will spell out my plan for cultivating a freer, fairer, and filthy rich U. S. of A., issue by issue, so that by 2024, you will know exactly where I stand. If you don't like what I have to offer, vote for the other guy. Just be warned that he touches many a kid, has illegitimate, dark-skinned children, and often feasts upon the broken dreams of discarded fetuses. Also, take note that God and me are like this (*crosses fingers tightly*). Seriously, love that guy.

First up: jobs, jobs, and more jobs...